On a day like this

Where I got home after long hours spent at work.
with gnawing sore back muscles and bloodshot red eyes
looking like a haggard-looking miserable soul I must have
not overly pessismistic , nor wallowing in self-pity
nor silently nursing a social anxiety disorder
but just today
all I need is a hasty meal to feed these screaming hunger pangs
a quick shower
sans the nightly prayers
then switch off the light, tuck into bed,
curl up comfortably under the old linen sheet
let sleep finds me, to soothe away the discomfort and tired nerves
and dreams, where heavenly angels beckon
tomorrow I’ll be fine again

Beg plastik

I went for grocery shopping in a supermarket after work.
And brought along my own plastic bag to store my purchases.

A young girl at the counter asked me:
“Mengapa mahu bawa beg plastik sendiri kak, sinikan ada”
I smiled and told her `nak bantu jaga alam sekitar’.

We still have a long way to go in our efforts to preserve the environment.
With education. Then action. Ignorance is certainly NOT a bliss here.

A hug

I was in a hospital ward visiting an old man whom our Foundation had been helping by providing monthly financial aid. On my way out, I saw this elderly makcik, clad in sarong and baju kebaya and a head scaft loitering in the hallway, a little agitated and seemingly unsure as to how to navigate her way around . I approached her and asked if she needed assistance to which she replied she was visiting her grand daughter and one of the hospital staff had told her to take the elevator to another floor where her granddaughter was, but being from a remote village and illiterate, the so-called modern facility designed to convenient us was such an unfamiliar thing to her, and she felt embarrassed to ask for assistance.

I then led her to the elevator, taught her how to press the buttons and brought her to the floor where she was at last reunited with her grand daughter. This old lady thanked me profusely, then extended her arms gave me this warm hug and gratefully uttered `terima kasih, nak’ .

I felt so touched by her little gesture. And she had been such a gracious lady with a heart of gold to want to address me as `nak’. At that moment, I truly felt like I was one of her own. And I felt I belonged.

Isn’t it humbling to know that you are the one at the receiving end of loving kindness when you and your bloated ego so selfishly and adamantly told you that you were actually the ONE initially reaching out to offer help to someone in need?

She just lighted up my day.

Pensive mood

It’s a Saturday in May, I woke up early to go shopping for vege and fruit at weekly’s tamu ground at Giant. Later attending company’s biennial sporting activity at Stadium Likas. Joining or rather observing the camaraderie of colleagues rooting for team mates during each event. A colleague was sprinting in lightning speed (or so I presume) to the finishing line, effortlessly grabbing the no.1 spot. Such fun. But I was tired. Was only a spectator on the podium yet feeling tired. This sense of uneasy jadedness. Argh..

Later running errands: ATM machine; money exchange counter, etc etc . Returning home taking a quick nap then going out again to meet some agent to collect sister’s passport and later another round of shopping at Luyang Fo Shang for ubi manis, jagung and kacang rebus; I went to visit a cousin who has been diagnosed with stone in one kidney the size so large now it has caused irreparable damage hence needs to undergo an immediate operation to have it removed. She has since lost lots of weight and feeble and had to stop in between her speech to catch her breaths. I haven’t seen her in ages but how she is a far cry from her usual bubbly and cheerful self did evoke a feeling of sadness in me. I tried to comfort her telling how the operation is a safe procedure and there’s only the proper and healthy mostly non-meat diet that needs to be incorporated into her lifestyle thereafter. But from her voice I did detect a sense of worry and uncertainty. And who don’t? Not especially when you have a family and three young kids who still crave for your love and attention. Life’s not fair they say, but life IS. But how do we tell?

But at this stage, it’s all about taking one step at a time. To conquer an obstacle, then the next challenge, and yet another mental strategy needs to be planned, all in the name of mustering the fighting spirit to go through this long and uncertain journey called `LIFE’.

I have all my best wishes and prayers for her.

I then left to visit another cousin at her house, have coffee then a small conversation before leaving for home.

Sometimes we really need to find time to be just by our own self, to ponder and reflect on life and the harsh realities it comes throwing us with. Not one, not two, but for some, aplenty. Like it or not, we all need to be prepared ourselves with the ` when-it-will-come-striking-at-us-head-on’ kind of mentallity.

And oftentimes, it’s not going to be easy….

This urge to blog

For quite a while, I have been toying with the idea of starting my own blog, but due to work commitment, this idea never really took off, until now..

Even though I reckon there won’t be much time to be spent here, I somehow hope I ’ll be able to post stories surrounding my life, little ideas here and there, however mundane and insignificant and trite there may be, and to write with just this limited pool of vocabulary that is within my grasp, just as a way to share with loved ones and people who know and have come to know me.