Pensive mood

It’s a Saturday in May, I woke up early to go shopping for vege and fruit at weekly’s tamu ground at Giant. Later attending company’s biennial sporting activity at Stadium Likas. Joining or rather observing the camaraderie of colleagues rooting for team mates during each event. A colleague was sprinting in lightning speed (or so I presume) to the finishing line, effortlessly grabbing the no.1 spot. Such fun. But I was tired. Was only a spectator on the podium yet feeling tired. This sense of uneasy jadedness. Argh..

Later running errands: ATM machine; money exchange counter, etc etc . Returning home taking a quick nap then going out again to meet some agent to collect sister’s passport and later another round of shopping at Luyang Fo Shang for ubi manis, jagung and kacang rebus; I went to visit a cousin who has been diagnosed with stone in one kidney the size so large now it has caused irreparable damage hence needs to undergo an immediate operation to have it removed. She has since lost lots of weight and feeble and had to stop in between her speech to catch her breaths. I haven’t seen her in ages but how she is a far cry from her usual bubbly and cheerful self did evoke a feeling of sadness in me. I tried to comfort her telling how the operation is a safe procedure and there’s only the proper and healthy mostly non-meat diet that needs to be incorporated into her lifestyle thereafter. But from her voice I did detect a sense of worry and uncertainty. And who don’t? Not especially when you have a family and three young kids who still crave for your love and attention. Life’s not fair they say, but life IS. But how do we tell?

But at this stage, it’s all about taking one step at a time. To conquer an obstacle, then the next challenge, and yet another mental strategy needs to be planned, all in the name of mustering the fighting spirit to go through this long and uncertain journey called `LIFE’.

I have all my best wishes and prayers for her.

I then left to visit another cousin at her house, have coffee then a small conversation before leaving for home.

Sometimes we really need to find time to be just by our own self, to ponder and reflect on life and the harsh realities it comes throwing us with. Not one, not two, but for some, aplenty. Like it or not, we all need to be prepared ourselves with the ` when-it-will-come-striking-at-us-head-on’ kind of mentallity.

And oftentimes, it’s not going to be easy….