Blue monday

It rained almost all afternoon at the work place. I always like the sound of rain drops beating against the rooftop as if providing a melody of sort. For I’ve been feeling slightly under the weather (mondays always do that to me) and rain is a welcome reprieve to soothe the dreariness and monotony of a blue Monday.

And the soreness and discomfort of PMS.

Nelson Mandela turned 92 on Sunday. A towering figure who’s through sheer tolerance and boundless compassion had persevered during his long battle championing human rights and fighting against Apartheid. A heroic crusade which cost him his freedom for 27 years yet he has graciously chosen to forgive his oppressors.

In his humbleness he discouraged the holding of parties to celebrate his birthday, instead urging people to reach out and serve on this day.

I did not know that Sunday was `Mandela Day’ till I read the news today. But it’s a nice feeling to think that the Foundation I am involved in did its part by helping to lessen the suffering of a small group of humanity. I am glad also that I, unknowingly, and in a sub-conscious kind of way was able to answer to his call by reaching out to humanity, albeit in a very small and insignificant way.

It’s drizzling outside while I type. And about time to crawl into bed and lay my head on the pillow and listen to droplets of rain outside till I drift to sleep…

Goodbye blue monday..

The day that was

12 July:

There was an email issued from the management at my workplace to ask workers to go back early due to the continuing rain which had flooded certain routes. I was skeptical if I could get through the flood water with my old car but forced myself to press on, carefully and laboriously trudging behind the long lines of vehicles ahead of me. When I finally reached home the sky was already dark even though it was only six. Exhausted, and after a quick-to- fix instant noodle I lay on the sofa, staunch in my resolve to watch the repeat telecast of world cup finals between Spain and Netherland over RTM1. The sheer fatique however got the better of me that I dozed off intermittently through out the show, missing certain moments but the energy got back on right after Spain scored the decisive goal and I immediately sat upright to witness this historic moment, whilst celebratory mood erupted throughout the entire stadium as Spain proudly and gloriously hoisted the golden trophy.

Happy that Spain won yet feeling sympathetic for Netherlands whose players long after the final whistle blow, remained in stunned silence in the field, contemplating a battle fought hard yet victory was not theirs to claim. The contradictory emotions of sheer ecstasy and deep dejection was simultaneously played out in this great arena of game for fame and glory, for the entire world to see.



13 July :

When I drove back home after work the road was clear of traffic, devoid of the every day bumper-to-bumper situation. The sky was still bright and the air smelled clean and fresh after a thorough cleansing session from yesterday’s downpour. I spent some times in the balcony listening to birds singing in between the trees to welcome the impending dusk while colours of dark blue and red adorning the evening sky, and lightheartedly whispering words of encouragement to plants in the balcony with an immediate sense of serenity and gratitude washed over me..

I just want to give thanks, for moments of pure bliss like this.

My memory of World Cup 2010

So the FIFA world cup 2010 is now officially over. There must be legion of football die-hard fans the world over who are trying to deal with their own withdrawal symptoms.

I am never an avid football fan but whenever the World Cup approached, I did have my favourite teams to root for : Argentina, firstly; Brazil, my second favourite. This time was no exception mainly because it was Diego Maradona who had started my interest in watching the game.

My world cup fantasy however ended when Argentina was shown an exit after losing miserably to Germany in the quarter-finals playoff with Germany (0-4). I thought Lionel Messi displayed a superb performance. Well that’s in the humble opinion of the not-so-avid football fan in me, with no knowledge of when a free kick or corner kick would be awarded. Penalty kick I knowlah. For me as long as the ball gets past the goalkeeper and lands beautifully and convincingly inside the set, that is already enough to make my heart pumping in excitement, for the team I root for of course. -__-

But I am happy that Spain won instead of Netherland. For reason that Spain is currently embroiled in political squabbles with its people having some tough times financially. To have something of monumental significance as this would temporarily take their mind off from the hardship that they are facing right now and to just for the moment bask in the glory of the victory of their national team.

The Spanish people truly deserve this golden moment. Their absolute ecstasy…

I honestly did not watch the live telecast, too tired after a balik kampung trip and I ended up retiring to bed early. I however watched the replay match the following day.

But there are snippets that are endearing to me which is how I would like to remember the FIFA World Cup 2010:


1. During the early morning match between Germany and Uruguay and I was back in the village, three adults i.e my elderly 81 years old father, eldest brother and younger brother were all laying on the living room sofas, each occupied one long sofa,still sleepy with blankets as cover from the early morning cold, watching the live telecast with the ooh & ahh every time during heart-stopping performances. I woke up with bleary eyes, came out from the room to take a peek as to which team was leading then sneaked back in to go back to my sleep. I was helpessly distracted by the ever persistent buzzing sound of vevezulas coming from the audience plus the very high-pitched and at times almost at screaming tone of the commentator commenting the many exhilarating moments during the match. The scenario was interspersed with the blaringly loud sound produced from an audio set played by the Timorese worker of my neighbour, who was having a grand party of sort to celebrate his only daughter’s full moon occasion. My mother kept saying this man must have won the lottery or else he definitely would not hold such a celebration for he is a very thrifty man.

And the Timorese man played the audio set till dawn, long after the live telecast had ended!

As if the birth of a daughter warrants a party of that scale to disrupt the sleep of the entire village . Sigh.


2. The next day (Monday), when I reached my work place at about 7.30am. The parking lot in front of the office building was almost empty. Like eerily empty. Those who always turn up early were not in the office. Must be staying up late watching the World Cup Final lah tu. My colleague who showed up later asked: `semua orang cutikah?’

The thing World Cup can do to you -__-


3. My boss Mr. Lee who is an avid football fan showed up a bit late than the time he normally would. Even though most of the times he’s late also, understandably, being a boss he has an excuse to be late. -__-


4. The sport club of the company I work with held a `teka bola’ contest where for every contest form of RM5 you may try to guess which teams will advance to the group of eight, quarter finals and the finals. The one with the correct or near correct guesses would win. I joined but all my guesses were wrong ( I voted for Argentina as the World Cup Winner). My colleague who won the contest with more than RM100 prize money treated us with makan-makan.


5. I have developed a liking for Diego Forlan from Uruguay and the team itself. Again in my humble opinion I thought the team fought hard to be placed in the quarter final and Frulan displayed world-class skills hence his team deserved to advance to where they were. He wears a head band too which looks kind of cute to me. -___-




So that’s a post written to remember the World Cup 2010. For many years down the road I think my memory will play a cheeky game with me, and I won’t be able to remember any of these events again.


I am looking forward to World Cup 2014 in Brazil. And like always I hope to see Argentina in the finals and hopefully Lionel Messi would still be in the team and Diego Maradona as the couch, who with his charisma and crazy antics would surely entertain many a crowd.

I would like to join the `Teka Bola’ contest again. This time I would definitely follow the unmistakable instincts of Paul the Oracle Octopus. Hope he would live long enough to see the next World Cup though. Funny when colleagues mentioned the word `sotong’ during lunch time in the office pantry, I initially thought it was a nickname given to an orang putih who was based locally who could predict accurately on the outcome of most of the matches in the World Cup. -__-

And I would like to see the same endearing scene with my elderly father and brothers laying on the living room sofa watching the early morning telecasts with their own `professional’ comments like `yi geh tendangan zhing sui’ (it’s an excellent kick), `jing vui hiam’ (it’s dangerous, in reference to an imperfect finishing by an opponent team) etc etc..

A quote

A quote to lighten the heart , to embrace the soul:

Learn to limit yourself, to content yourself with some definite thing, and some definite work;
Dare to be what you are, and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not and to believe in your own individuality.

- Henri-Frederic Amiel

Resolutions

While driving to work on 30 June, I switched on the car radio and listened to the announcers talking about the fact that we were actually coming to the end of the first half chapter of 2010 and asked listeners to call in to give their views as to how they have been doing so far. Have they fulfilled any of their resolutions they set to achieve in the beginning of the year?

Oh to think how six months have zoomed past us just like that. The fact that Barrack Obama, the first black US President has been in office for more than a year now. When just days ago radio stations were paying tribute to the King of Pop MJ by playing his songs in remembering of his 1st death anniversary. I can’t believe it’s already one year since he’s gone. All seem just a little while ago…

For a flickering second we are already a long distance away from yesterday.

I need to ask myself the same questions as well, a self-assessment like how have I been doing so far?

1. A year ago when the mind was roaming indecisively due to unemployment I accepted a six-month contract assignment from a company, then extended to a year until recently where the management decided to offer me a permanent position. Good for me, even though this job is not what I would have in mind. I hesistantly braved myself to negotiate with the boss, a daring attempt considering the timidity in me n got myself a much deserved salary adjustment. With this pay rise, I think I am little better off now, at least with a steady job, I don’t have to worry about financial issues like money to pay my home loan, credit cards, insurance, petrol etc..

And may be a vacation. I shall work on that.

2. I would like to settle my home loan earlier than the given time frame. I want to withdraw part of my EPF contributions via its withdrawal scheme plus whatever little savings I have to partially repay the loan. As those who fall under the low to middle income group can testify, having to serve a home loan is really a pain in the neck which literally leaves you with little or no financial freedom for other pursuits.

I will have this sorted out by the end of the year, I hope.


3. I have started to blog -___-
It’s a new passtime which I can easily get engaged with for I do love the fact that I may channel some of my random thoughts into writing, in the form of a blog. Something to keep my mind occupied and focused on. And try to learn new things along the way, like what is a sidebar? How to change the background of the blog etc. Pardon for my poor knowledge but blogging is something very new to me. Being not net-savvy and all that . An ancient relic I am .

4. I am never so much of a procrastinator. But lately I do notice these traits starting to slowly and menacingly surface from within me. I SHALL NOT procrastinate.

5. My health has been going downhill very quickly, age catching up. Sigh. Very irritating sore back n the persistent tiredness are what standing in the way for me to want to engage in any activity, be it charitable or just simply go out to have some relaxation with friends. I should REALLY REALLY start taking good care of my body now. Proper meals and good exercise do the trick. Which means I shall avoid the quick-to-fix meals aka Maggie mee or biscuits.

For the past few months I have been n am eating healthy now. -__-

6. I am moving on the right path with regard to spiritual pursuit. But I shall put on more efforts if I wish to see a small transformation of sort. A spiritual n mental balance that is.

7. I am still unsure as to where my journey will lead me to. My so-called DESTINY. But I tell myself to stop worrying from now on. To instead take one small step at a time. I want to undertake each day with a purpose in mind. Learning to embrace the day with activities which will benefit myself and others. I shall endeavour never to let each day pass in vain.

Well I want to try. -__-

I read the online news of a very popular Korean actor of Winter Sonata fame who was found hanged by the electric code of his mobile phones charger. His was one of the many of high-profiles suicides in recent years.

Just as we are done (or at least some of us) with the review of this first half chapter of our lives in a year and have decided to continue on our pursuits of the yet to be attended dreams/goals, or to renew our resolutions, certain people have somehow decided to bid a final farewell to the world by committing suicide.

Is life really this bad that death is the only solution to our woes?

Amidst all the troubles and despairs n heart breaks, there must be somehow a glimmer of hope somewhere, a light at the end of the tunnel, which we may finally reach out to.

There must be. Please don’t give up.

I received an email from my sister days ago. A letter filled with love, encouragement and hope, which touches my heart and I truly appreciate.


嗨 姐，
您好嗎?希望您生活充實健康。我最近才有時間到圖書館開電惱做其它功課，順便看看信箱。
謝謝您這些年的付出，我會盡量把目前要做的事情做好，如果沒有得到好的成果，至少已經盡力了。
希望您在哪裡好好過自己的生活，照顧健康，把生活安排好。目標設定起來，每天該做的事情或在什麼時間之內必須完成某一件事等。我們永遠都有希望，學習是無止盡的，活到老就必須學到老。看看周邊的人時就更感恩自己的褔報了。凡事要正面思考，心才會開闊，命運隨著轉變的。加油!!!!!

There is always a reason for our being here. Love, hope and promises and everything in between.

We just need to try to reach out. -___-